Domestic Violence and Abuse
If you think you're being victimised in an abusive relationship, do remember that it is not your fault. Relationship abuse is not caused by alcohol or drugs, stress, anger management, or provocation. It is always a choice to be abusive.
If you believe yourself or someone you care about are in an abusive relationship, please do not hesitate to seek help. You're not alone. It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Learn to recognise the signs of domestic abuse and how to get help. Everyone deserves a better and happier life.
What is Domestic Abuse?
When people mention domestic abuse, many of us will just focus on domestic violence. However, domestic abuse can happen in different shapes, to which all of these involve a person in a marriage or intimate relationship attempts to dominate or have control total over the other. It is an imbalanced relationship as the abuser uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to maintain authoritarian control over his/her partner and continually force the partner to submit to his/her will. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, it does not discriminate. The bottom line is any abusive behaviour is never acceptable. Everyone deserves to feel safe, valued and respected.
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
Common Types of Domestic Abuse
Abusive behaviour is a choice. Despite many believe that domestic violence takes place out of an uncontrollable behaviour and emotion, it has actually been proven from time to time that these abusive actions are taken out of deliberate choice to gain control. Abusers use a variety of tactics to exert their power and manipulate their victims. This includes:
Humiliation, Dominance, Intimidation, Isolation, Threats, Denial and Blame
Abusers are able to control their behaviour. In fact, they do it all the time.
Abusers pick and choose whom to abuse.
Abusers carefully choose when and where to abuse.
Abusers are able to stop their abusive behavior when it benefits them.
The Cycle of Violence in Domestic Abuse
Speak up if you suspect domestic violence or abuse!
If you suspect someone you know is under abuse, please do not hesitate to speak up. If you're hesitant, thinking this is unrelated to you and you should always mind your own business, you might be wrong. Voicing out your concern will let the victim know what you care and that there is always someone whom they can turn to for further assistance.
If you're reading this and feeling yourself being victimised in an abusive relationship, here are some options which you may find helpful:
WAO Hotline: +603 7956 3488 (Mon to Sat: 9am – 5pm. Extended hours on Tues, Wed & Fri: 7pm – 10pm)
SMS/WhatsApp TINA: +6018 988 8058 (24 hours)
Women’s Centre for Change (WCC) Penang – 04-2280 342 (Mon to Fri: 9am – 5pm)
Telenita Helpline (All Women's Action Society) – 03-7877 0224 (Mondays-Saturdays, 10AM-5PM)
Telenisa (Sisters In Islam) – 03-7960 8802 (Tues, Wed, Thurs: 10AM - 5PM, except public holidays)
Talian Nur (Talian Kasih) – 15999 (24 hours, 7 days)
Police – 03-2031 9999 / 03-2266 3333
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age group and profession. By identifying the warning signs and offering support, you can help victims escape an abusive situation and begin healing.